Quick it Girl: Please READ!

A quick note to "Quick It Girl"I just wanted to say that I couldn't comment on your posts because it wouldn't let me, whenever I clicked post comment, the place to write a comment never comes up. So when you said, "P.s : Where have all my friends gone? :,(" on your latest post I felt really guilty about not telling you that commenting doesn't work, cuz I've been reading all your posts 'silently' lol. So maybe check the comment enabling or something, I'm not sure :(

How small we are.

Sometimes in life, there are roadblocks or stops in the way. Obstacles and sadness preventing you from going on. From living. And maybe all of life is like that. One roadblock after another. No space to breathe, from all the tears and sorrow. Somehow life keeps going on though. Somehow the clocks never seem to stop no matter how much you feel like hiding or dying. It never makes sense, the way life brings so many questions and yet somehow no answers. Confusion is always there, like a bad dream, or worse-a reality. Sometimes I just feel like quitting, like giving up my race against time. Waving the white flag of surrender. But there's always someone pushing you to do better, standing there for you to lie your head against, even though they might not seem to be there. Life goes on, people learn to accept. You can't judge a future by your past. Can't apply your mistakes to your present. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't here yet. Live for today. If you died this minute what would you have wished you could've done? Think. And now get up and do it. Whether it's calling an old friend or wearing the hijab. It's not worth wasting any time. Your future is not certain and the past has already happened. The truth is evident, all you need to do, is open your eyes and look around you. Look at the trees, the birds, the sun, the people that make your life worth living. There's a purpose in everything. There isn't a single drop of water that fall down, without Allah's knowledge. The world would not survive a fracture of a milisecond without Allah. Everything and everyone is completley dependant on Him, whether we realize it or not. He gave us the choice of belief. He let us choose to follow or stray. But in the end, everything we do is counted for. There isn't a single person in the world who lies at night and doesn't think about what he's done. There isn't a person who doesn't have a heart, who doens't have a concious. Every person knows right from wrong, and whether they choose to aknowledge that or not, it's there. Life keeps going. Everything we go through is a test. One day for Allah (s.w.t) equals one thousand years of what we count. So how long have we lived in this life? 30 years, 40 years, 50 years, 120? That's still not even ONE day in Allah (s.w.t)'s measurements for the Hereafter. So imagine how SMALL humans are. How tiny we are in this world. Imagine how small our problems are compared to the turmoil and torture of the Day of Judgement. With every tick of the clock we are a second closer to the end. So, if you died this minute what would you have wished you could've done? Think. And now get up and do it.

Little mosque

AHHHHH!!! i just finished watching all of Little mosque and the last episode made me cry, it's so beautiful and sad andddd i'm not ruining it for those of you who haven't finished watching it yet :P
By the way do any of you know if there are any more seasons coming up? This show can't end!!! :((

Flying thoughts

A thought been running around in my head ever since I started watching Little mosque on the Prairie. It's funny how people can never know how they'll be introduced to Islam. Like the actors in Little mosque. Most of them aren't muslims but through their acting careers they've been exposed to the truth. So... technically if they don't convert/revert to Islam they could be punished for knowing the truth and yet not practicing it. And also these non-muslim actors have "lived as muslims" for a while through the show, so I wonder how they react when they hear people insulting muslims or when they see a muslimah walking down the street. They'd know all the little crevices and ways of being a muslim, and I just think that's so amazing. I mean if you think about it, it makes sense....Like if I could interview Rayyan (Sitara hewitt) I would just ask about her feelings about Islam before and after she was in this show. For some actors, maybe through this show they've gotten rid of "bad" islamic perspectives. I mean they're only humans so who knows how they thought about Islam before actually being a character in Little Mosque. Anyways I probably just lost everyone with my train of thoguhts :P. Oh, and for those who don't know what Little Mosque is visit this website and watch all the episodes: http://watchlittlemosque.com, I prefer it over Youtube, just because the episodes and seasons are more complete. Sorry i've been away from blogger for a while it feels good to be back :)
Basically I've been a silent reader of most of the blogs, gaining knowledge from the posts my muslim sisters & brothers are writing. It's hard to believe that before blogging I didn't know as much about Islam as I do now. I mean I prayed and fasted and did all that, but I didn't really understand alot about it. Like some issues about certain, more complex things in Islam really cleared up after I saw so many muslimahs talking about it and clearing their heart out. So this is a virtual thank you shout to all my fellow sisters. "luv ya all!"
Hope you're all enjoying life, and Islam. and are in the best of health and iman.

Lol that rhymed 'Hope you're all enjoying life, and Islam. and are in the best of health and iman. "

Blog Make-over (well...only the background!)

Teehee I've been playing around with the blog background so much now a whole hour spent on deciding which background to keep. And my sweet blog friend Quick it Girl commented on the change and then found out that I kept changing it and so she had go back and update her comment :P sorry about that!! lol. feeling so much better lately thanks so much to everyone in blogsphere!
What do you think about the background and header picture (of hajj at the top) shoudl I keep it or change it some more?

Sadness and writers block

I want to cry. It's one of those times where I can't get the thoughts in my head and heart out on the blog. Maybe I'll be able to some other time. But for now. i'm sorry. I don't even understand what's going on, let alone trying to put my feelings in words. So I promise I'll spill everything out tomorrow.
Hope you're all in the best of health and iman. and thanks so much muneera for the sweet post you wrote.

What is it good fo'? absolutely nothin'!

I'm getting more and more sure that Bryan needs Islam. I know it. He is completely lost. In orchestra today he was really ticked and hadn't gotten over the break up with his girlfriend. And he was also dressed in a suit and tie. Why? Because he had a court case. My God. But when Essence and I asked him what was wrong, he handed us a poem he'd written and told us to read it. I don't remember it all, but it was the sweetest, saddest thing ever. The only line I remember really well is this:
"When I say 'Oh I'm fine' I want someone to look into my eyes and say 'tell the truth'.
That made my eyes burn and I was about to start crying. Because I write the same thing in my poems. I knew exactly what he meant. Bryan was always careful to hide his feelings. But that poem was amazing. I didn't know he could write that well. The poem also made me positive to get Islam across to him. Islam, because it prohibited him from doing all the things that made teachers, others and even himself categorize him into the "bad people" category. It fit in perfectly.
Islam forbids drugs and alcohol. Something he drinks sometimes, but hates.
Islam doesn't allow dating. A habit he wants to break loose of.
Islam doesn't allow stealing. Bryan doesn't steal! he doesn't even take money even for a beat.
I remember something he said once about money. Zach (an 8th grader in our class) had told Bryan that he'd bet money on something. Bryan said no. So Zach said OK then I'll just give you the money. And Bryan burst, he said "I don't like money! It's what got me into all the trouble I've been in since I was 10!"
Somethings people say just stay in mind, and this is one of them. Continuing my list:

Islam forbids hanging out with bad people. Bryan has gotten involved with gangs at one point.
And so many other things I could sit and list. Bryan NEEDS Islam and I'm going to get it across to him no matter what. He says 'Nothing good happens in his life' but he's wrong. His life CAN change. It can.
We watched a slide show in history today about the Vietnam War. And the song the teacher used in the background was "What is it good fo'? absolutely nothin'!" And it just made me think so much about stuff in life. Like so many things are good for nothing but we still do them. It really doesn't make a difference.This time, my long walk from schooll to home was not a really thought-provoking one. I just kinda walked and didn't think about anything because I don't want to. I just want to escape out of my thoughts and into the world of dreams. In Spanish, we're working on a project, making poster boards about a certaincountry of our choice for International Night at school. I chose to do it on Iraq just cuz I was born there, but now I really regret it. Just because googling "Iraq" on images doesn't get me anything I want, but war pictures and troops. It's not fair. And then what completely ticked me off was when a friend googled "Iraq" supposedly trying to help me, she was like "AWH! I googled Iraq on images and look what came up!" she says obnoxiously pointing to injured people that were victims of the war.
"And you think I don't know this stuff?!??" I reply.
She turns aways mumbling sorry and inside I was saying,
"Yea, my mom ran under bombs being dropped holding on to my baby brother trying to run to safety, while my dad was living hell too. Actually they were both living there then, the wars and things they've seen are miserable."

But really does it make any difference what I think? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how hell-ish life was for my parents, it doesn't matter how much they've endured. Years ago, while people here (U.S.) were crying about not getting the dress/outfits they wanted,my dad and my mom were crammed into a basement trying to be invulnerable to the bombs and shooting with no food to eat, and my mom was pregenant with my brother (her first child), in the midst of all the bombing and war. that's why it gets me mad when people complain about the stupidest things ever, or are really obnoxious and stuck up. *sigh*
Anyways I had to get that out, it was really bothering me badly. I hope everyone is doing well and is in the best of health and iman.
Wa alaikom al salam.

Rambles and more rambles

My patience is completely GONE from people insulting Islam. I'm tiered of going on Youtube and other videos and reading comments that are nothing but prejudice and mean words, or not even just youtube, but other hateful websites. I don't get it. Do people have nothing better to do than insult a religion?! And above that, the TRUE religion. The RIGHT religion. The JUST and most NOBLE religion there is. Islam. I mean. For the people that only like to insult then this is a shout to ya'll :
"GO GET A LIFE FOR GOD'S SAKE!" lol. sorry I had to get that out. I'm just fed up with it. And then what's up with the stupid remarks anyways?? I get them alot because of my hijab. Here:
"Do you get HOT in that?"
"Did your parents FORCE you to wear it?"
"Do you EVER take it off?"
"Do you sleep with it?"
"Do you take a shower with it on?"
"Will you take it off next year?"
And my personal favorite...
"What would you do if I pulled it off your head?"
and "Do you speak English?"
or "Wow. You don't have an accent in english."
GOODNESS GRACIOUS! I mean...uh what am I supposed to say to them? I know this is old and stuff but it's STILL driving me INSANE. I've been getting these STUPID UN LOGICAL questions since day 1 of the hijab. And I'm quite fed up with the non-sense.
As you can see, I've had a very iffy day. (haha iffy!) isn't that such a cool word?
I Apologize so much for being away from the blog for a while (not that long!) but of course blogger is ADDICTING and my friends are driving me crazy asking me to get a Facebook. BUT I REFUSE TO GET A FACEBOOK! I HATE FACEBOOK. I WILL NOT BE ADDICTED TO FACEBOOK.
omygosh you guys...
your comments made me cry on my last post about memorizing the Quran cuz they were TOO SWEET! Special thanks to Solace in Islam and Muslimah2Muslimah for suggesting imaanstar.com.
I just downloaded it and it seems AMAZING! :) thanks again.
Oh, and Quick It Girl for that sweet video of an 8 year old who'd memorized all the Quran :) Very inspirational. Got me excited to learn the Quran by heart :) thanks!

Memorizaton tool

Recently I was looking around on other blogs and I came upon one called Celestial Hope/Dunya Rants. The first post I read was "I wanna become a hafiza". Jaz-the blogger wrote about wanting to memorize the Quran and she provided a really cool way to keep track of what she's memorized. She bolded all the surahs she's memorized. So...I'm sortof gonna steal her idea since I've posted before about wanting to memorize the Quran and use it too. (Hope that's ok Jaz!) :) My list is something like this:

  1. Al-Fatihah
  2. Al-Baqarah
  3. Al-'Imran
  4. An-Nisa'
  5. Al-Ma'idah
  6. Al-An'am
  7. Al-A'raf
  8. Al-Anfal
  9. Al-Bara'at
  10. Yunus
  11. Hud
  12. Yusuf
  13. Ar-Ra'd
  14. Ibrahim
  15. Al-Hijr
  16. An-Nahl
  17. Bani Isra'il
  18. Al-Kahf
  19. Maryam
  20. Ta Ha
  21. Al-Anbiya'
  22. Al-Hajj
  23. Al-Mu'minun
  24. An-Nur
  25. Al-Furqan
  26. Ash-Shu'ara'
  27. An-Naml
  28. Al-Qasas
  29. Al-'Ankabut
  30. Ar-Rum
  31. Luqman
  32. As-Sajdah
  33. Al-Ahzab
  34. Al-Saba'
  35. Al-Fatir
  36. Ya Sin
  37. As-Saffat
  38. Sad
  39. Az-Zumar
  40. Al-Mu'min
  41. Ha Mim
  42. Ash-Shura
  43. Az-Zukhruf
  44. Ad-Dukhan
  45. Al-Jathiyah
  46. Al-Ahqaf
  47. Muhammad
  48. Al-Fath
  49. Al-Hujurat
  50. Qaf
  51. Ad-Dhariyat
  52. At-Tur
  53. An-Najm
  54. Al-Qamar
  55. Ar-Rahman
  56. Al-Waqi'ah
  57. Al-Hadid
  58. Al-Mujadilah
  59. Al-Hashr
  60. Al-Mumtahanah
  61. As-Saff
  62. Al-Jumu'ah
  63. Al-Munafiqun
  64. At-Taghabun
  65. At-Talaq
  66. At-Tahrim
  67. Al-Mulk
  68. Al-Qalam
  69. Al-Haqqah
  70. Al-Ma'arij
  71. Nuh
  72. Al-Jinn
  73. Al-Muzzammil
  74. Al-Muddaththir
  75. Al-Qiyamah
  76. Al-Insan
  77. Al-Mursalat
  78. An-Naba'
  79. An-Nazi'at
  80. 'Abasa
  81. At-Takwir
  82. Al-Infitar
  83. At-Tatfif
  84. Al-Inshiqaq
  85. Al-Buruj
  86. At-Tariq
  87. Al-A'la
  88. Al-Ghashiyah
  89. Al-Fajr
  90. Al-Balad
  91. Ash-Shams
  92. Al-Layl
  93. Ad-Duha
  94. Al-Inshirah
  95. At-Tin
  96. Al-'Alaq
  97. Al-Qadr
  98. Al-Bayyinah
  99. Al-Zilzal
  100. Al-'Adiyat
  101. Al-Qari'ah
  102. At-Takathur
  103. Al-'Asr
  104. Al-Humazah
  105. Al-Fil
  106. Al-Quraish
  107. Al-Ma'un
  108. Al-Kauthar
  109. Al-Kafirun
  110. An-Nasr
  111. Al-Lahab
  112. Al-Ikhlas
  113. Al-Falaq
  114. An-Nas
So hopefully each time I memorize a new surah I'll re-post this list and highlight the new ones :)

Thoughts from the heart 2

I walked into the orchestra room for class. We were going to be watching "The Pink Panther" because it was a Friday and we weren't going to play our instruments. We all sat down on the floor- our class consists of me, Essence (a close friend), a boy named Zach, a boy named Zaw, a baoy named Abbass (another Islam ditcher), a boy named Chad, a girl named Quamiya and a girl named Dontasia. And 10 minutes late as usual was Bryan. I say "as usual" for his tardiness because he always walks his girlfriend to class and then he comes to Orchestra. But anyways, after we settle down and start watching Pink Panther, Bryan gets drowsy. After some questions, Essence and I discover that he's drunk. DRUNK. And he's like 14 years old. In the morning he had put beer in his soda bottle, and drank it all, except for a little bit. I take the bottle of beer and soda and throw it in the trashcan, with him telling me not to. Essence and I test just how drunk he is by asking him to point to his nose or say the ABC's. He can't. Instead of touching his nose, he touches his cheeks or mouth. Oh God! Are you kidding me?! Drunk at 14? Me and Essence do all knds of things like puch him to see if he can feel or make him count to 10. Then I look over at Essence and tell her, "I hope this will make you think twice before you ever drink in the future."
"Ya, or else I might end up like this retard over here," she says pointing to brayan.
I say something like, " I mean am I the only one who's in a religion where all kinds of drugs and alcohol are forbidden?!"
Essence says, "Well no, like drugs are forbidden in Christianity and stuff but they say red wine is good for you or somehting because it has antioxidants or something like that..."
Then I go into this whole discussion about being able to find antioxidants in other things so why red wine?
Then the drunk person A.K.A bryan looks over and says that he's a Christian too.
Essence says, " Umm...nno you're not, they'd like kick you out of Church if you said that. I mean you're DRUNK!"
Then I say, " I'm glad muslims aren't even allowed to drink and go on drugs."
Bryan says," I have to try that religion."
he was drunk. And I'm sure he didn't even mean it. But still. There might be hope.

~~~~~~ An hour later~~~~~

I walk down to the gym for P.E. class and later wish I hadn't. The teachers had gathered all 60-some or more boys and girls on the bleachers. You know how boys and girls have like certain "cliques" they're in, well that's what it's like. The boys mainly have 2 cliques: "The cool pervs that hang around chics" and the "uncool, unpopular/nerds". But it's really wrong, because most of the boys who end up in the "uncool" group are really actually cool. They're nice and funny. But they don't know that. Luis was one of the many that had been sorted automatically in the 'uncool/nerdy" group. Which isn't true for him because when I got to know him in the beggening of the school year, my first reaction was "Wow! he's so funny and awesome!" But now he's totally changed like most eveyrone has. He wants to be "cooler " and hang out with the "cool" little "chics" and the "cool" pervert boys. This is the worst thing he's ever done. Today in gym he came over to the girls and started giving them numbers. Numbers that rated them on THEIR BODY PARTS. What the hell?! WHy would someone do that? I mean....
And the worst problem is half the girls enjoyed it, and some really didn't care. Like when a girl got called to go up to the office for early dissmissal, Luis yelled across the gym "BE PROUD OF YOUR 6!"
And she laughed. She didn't try to scorn or ignore him, Nothing.
And I wasn't excluded from this body part "rating" either. My hijab and loose jeans and jacket didn't do anything. It didn't stop them from degrading me. So I wonder what happens to the girls dressed in tight, tight jeans and body-hugging shirts.
It just pissed me off-it made me absolutley FURIOUS that these boys- these "supposedly cool" boys filled their time with games like these. How true the words of Allah (s.w.t) were when He says,
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”

[al-Noor 24:31]

Handing out awards!!! PLEASE READ! you might have been picked!

Ok so I've picked 11 people that I'm giving blogged awards to. You can do anything you want with them. you can post them as a post or post them in your sidebar. To post to your sidebar follow these directions:
Right click on your award---> Choose "copy image location"---> Sign into your blog---> From your dashboard go to "customize"--->Click "add gadgets"---> Choose "picture"--->paste the image location that you copied---> click save and view blog and you're done!
First blog award goes to Lisa from "A journey Westward from Tartary"

Second award goes to Muslimahh from "The life of a Hijabista":

Third award goes to Modest Justice from erm "Modest Justice" lol.:

4th blog award goes to Muneera from "Modest 'n' Fashionable":

5th blog award goes to Sacrifice4Allah :

6th award goes to Ange from "Mama, I'm married to a masri"

7th award goes to American Muslima Writer:

8th award goes to Umm Omar:

Hijabis on a Ranting Tour:

Quick It Girl:

And last but not least, Umm travis:

Heehhe finally done! I'm going to bed lol.

It's not happening

She wrote me a note today. A note. It said:

Dear ____ (My name),

I am writing this cuz you might not c me again.
I am going to commit suicide because no 1 likes me
& wants me in this world...I am serios!
luv you always,
_____ (My friends name)

She handed it to me on my way to gym and ran to her class, ran. I know she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't commit suicide. She can't. I'm positive. But still. It scared me. I'm pretty sure I talked her out of it though. So. But I still have that note. I didn't throw it away. I'm not going to.
20 years from now, I want to get it out and look back at it. And cry. How can someone feel like that?

Thoughts from the heart

I went into the orchestra room when the bell rang to end the school day. I got my violin out of locker like I do everyday and slowly walked out. My head was about to burst and the heat outside was killing me. I love summer. Or atleast I used to love summer, until I became a hijabi and started to cover up more. It's not that I was hot, it just really bothered me seeing all the girl with their mini-skirts and skimpy little shorts all sitting, swarmed with boys. Supposedly it's still winter though. So the sentence about me loving or hating summer is pointless. But still. Anyways as I walked out of the orchestra room hanging on to my violin, I was met with a rush of hot air. I sighed and kept on walking. Then I heard someone calling my name behind me. I turn around and see that it's Bryan. I greet him with a hey and walk along asking where he's going. Apparently he's gotten a referral for walking out of a classroom. And so now he's suspended.

"No way Bryan why would you do that?!"
Bryan looks at me and shrugs, and has that stubborn look on his face that he always has when he's skipped a class.
Let me tell you a little bit about Bryan so you're not completely shocked.
Bryan skips almost every class of school, except orchestra, which is the only class I have with him. But before all the mothers out there start to gasp, I want to say one thing. Bryan has potential. He's an amazing person, he's not even bad and isn't like those boys that skip just for the attention and being "cool". Bryan isn't like that. He's a really good person, he's the kind of person who I can imagine reverting to Islam when he's older. If only he had the chance.

Anyways, he doesn't talk much about getting that referral, and I didn't expect him to but I said bye and went my way, walking home from school. And that walk took forever, but I was thinking so much about everything.
I thought about Bryan and his suspension. I thought about the skinny little models of girls that went to our school. I thought about the heat. Only because I couldn't avoid it. I thought about words, and things people have said. I thought about gym class.
Stupid, stupid gym class. This unit, and every day of the week we would be putting on blaring music and creating a dance to preform in front of maybe 60 students. Dancing. Blaring music. Everyone in the gym having fun, creating their dance. I was supposed to do it too. But I didn't. Why would I? I felt like collapsing right there on the floor, and crying, crying, crying. Not because of the dancing or music, because that was something I could get out of if i tried, but because of everything. Tiered of the boys swarming around the girls like candy. I was tiered of it all, tired of this stupid public school. They say that in a public school, difference is tolerated, but is it really? To me, it didn't matter what the school conduct rules said, it mattered how people felt. It was my first year as a hijabi. A decision I don't think I'll regret. But still. I found no connection in school. The people that had always been my friends,seemed far far away, in their land of makeup, clothes, skininess and of course the ultimate question of who would be their next date? It drove me crazy. Why date a boy if you had already planned out every detail of the day you would dump them?! And besides what was the point anyways? Long ago, 12 and 13 year olds were considered naiive children and yet now, most of the girls and boys in our school had gotten their first kisses since they were 10. What would you call that?! It was the same cycle over and over. Date a guy. Kiss them. Dump them. Date another guy. Kiss them. Dump them. Over and over and over. And this cycle usually took no more than a week to get over with. A friend dated a boy for a total of 3.5 hours and then got dumped for another "cuter" girl. Umm.? I was sick of all that flirting going on. Sick to death of it. The girl with her perfect, superstar shiny black hair that flipped around. Perfect body. Green eyes. Dressed in tight cutoff jeans and a fitting shirt. Everyone loved her. Of coure. I was sick of it.

"Cinderella's on her bedroom floor
She's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store
Cuz Mr.Charming don't come home no more and
She forgets why she came here"

That verse of the song 'Fairytale' has been stuck in my head forever. because to me, it all made sense. It was perfect. Especially that last line "She forgets why she came here".
Anyways on my walk home, I thought about Gaza and wondered why everyone had forgotten about the Palestinians. Or maybe it was just me? I don't know. I felt so bad that i was going on with my life and not doing anything that would really help. I was angry with myself and my feet ached. And my head hurt from thinking so much. But thoughts are inevitable. They are necessary and unavoidable. Finally I get home. But I am still thinking. Thinking about Lisa
from A journey Westward from Tartary.
I think it just creeped in my mind. I've been replaying and replaying the conversation we had over the phone in my head like a memory I will never tier from remembering. The least thing I could do was remember. remember her story. Try to understand.

"Cinderella's on her bedroom floor
She's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store
Cuz Mr.Charming don't come home no more and
She forgets why she came here"

That song, I can't get it out of my head. It's stuck there. like glue. Finally I open the door to go into the house. I am greeted with a rush of cool air. Again I sigh and smile, well at least I tried to. I was so tiered, but I rushed to my room and prayed Dhuhr prayer and Asr since I don't have the oppurtunity or the place to pray it at school. After I am done prayingDhuhr, I sit down and recite Ayat Al-Kursi. And I start to cry. I don't know why. But I felt overwhelmed. Stuffed. Tiered of being blamed for everything. Sad. Like a flash back, I remember the conversation I had with my mom yesterday about what kind of classes and major I'd like to take in college. I had planned it all out. And college was far far away.In the future. With a sharp pang of guilt, I realized how stupid I had been to plan it all out. Allah(s.w.t) does what he pleases, and my plans were useless. I didn't even know if tommorow would come, let alone 5 more years in which I would even go into college. I didn't even know if I would be alive in5 years, or if I even wanted to be. I mentally scolded myself for my carelessness. I do that alot. I mentally scold myself too much. But...Anyways I get up and wipe the tears of my face and continue to pray Asr. Suddenly I felt like I didn't even want to. Like my prayers weren't coming from my heart anyways. Again like a flash back, I remember a part in a story called "If I should Speak" by Umm Zakiyyah where a college student who'd been a a very great muslim when she was youger suddenly let go of her religion, her hijab and prayers and started modeling, singing and staying in the company of men. Then one day she tried to pray and realized she'd forgotten all the words, because she'd gone so long without prayers. And then she stopped. On the day of her singing concert, after she had finished and was going back home, she gets in a car accident and dies. And she was 19 years old. Had she died muslim? Obviously not. She'd wasted all those days of where her iman was very high. She'd wasted all those days of fasting and praying just to sing and model. And then she died. Killed. There's a part in this book, where it's describing death from the Quran:

"As for the disbelieving (or corrup) man, when he leaves this world and eters the Hereafter, stern and harsh angels come down to him from heaven. Their faces are black, and they bring with them sack-cloth from Hell. They sit around him, as far as the eye can see. The Angel of Death comes and sits at his head and says, 'O evil soul, come out to the anger and wrath of God!'...The soul will be dragged out of his body with as much difficulty as a many-pronged skewer being pulled through wet wool (the veins and nerves will be destroyed by it). He will be cursed by every angel between heaven and earth, and by every angel in heaven. The gates of heaven will be locked and the people of every angel will pray to God not to allow his soul to ascend through their domain. He will take it and immediatley put it into the sack-cloth. IT will sting like the foulest stench of dead flesh ever witnessed on earth. They will take the soul up, and whenever they take it past a grup of angels they will say 'Who is this evil soul?' They say, 'It is so- and- so the son of so-and-so,' using the worst names in wchich he was addressed in the world (They will go on) until they reach the first heaven. They will ask for it to be opened to them, and it will not be opened. '...No opening will there be of the gates of heaven, nor will hey enter the Garden, until the camel can pass through the eye of the needle..." (Al-A'raaf, 7:40)

Astagfurallah, May Allah save us from this horrendous ending.

Different hadiths and quotes

The destruction of man lies in three things: his stomach, his lusts, and his tongue. (Prophet Muhammed s.a.w)

A friend cannot be considered a friend unless he is tested on three occasions: in time of need, behind your back and after your death (Imam Ali a.s)

Having the Greatness of the Creator in your mind would make you realize the insignificance of the creatures in your view (Imam Ali a.s)

Your yesterday is gone, and your tomorrow is doubtful. Therefore value today and act as thou you will not have tomorrow. (Imam Ali a.s)

Affliction caused by the tongue is worse than that caused by the strike of the blade of a sword (Prophet Muhammed s.a.w)

The listener to backbiting is the same as the backbiter (Imam Ali a.s)

Be a friend to the oppressed and an enemy to the oppressor (Imam Ali a.s)

Lower your eyes and you will see wonders. (Prophet Muhammed s.a.w)

Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you associate with (Prophet Muhammed s.a.w)

Imam Reza/Ridha: "Whoever resolves a believer's problem , God removes sorrow from his heart on the Day of Judgement"

Imam Naqi: "People are in this world by their wealth and in the hereafter by their deeds"

Imam Hassan: "Disasters and hardships are keys to rewards and compensations"

A wise man first thinks and then speaks, and a fool speaks and then thinks. (Imam Ali a.s)

The Holy Prophet [s] told Abu Dharr: "Take advantage of five opportunities before five other things: Your youth before your senescence, your health before your illness, your wealth before your poverty, your leisure before your haste, and your life before your death."

By the way, feel free to copy and add any of these hadiths to your blog :)

Where muslim girls stand.

What thoughts pop into your head when you see these pictures? Do I really need to make a post about it? lol. okay fine. THE HIJAB *dannannaananaaaaaa*
First of all I just want to say this post is BY FAR NOT JUDGING ANYONE. NOR is it saying that muslim girls should all be forced to wear hijab, because muslims who don't wear a hijab can still be modest and better than muslims who do wear the scarf. I understand that the hijab is a choice, and is hard to start wearing, I've gone through it all myself, and if you're a new convert or a young muslimah(teehee) then I totally understand, i guess I just don't believe in the whole "The hijab is in my heart" argument. My personal opinion, you are not in any way entitled to it. :)
In the Quran:
Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity of them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: they should not display their ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty...." Surah An-Nur 24 ayah 31

Ok, I guess the hijab isn't what I wanted to really focus on in this post, i had something different in mind, but that was just a quick run-through.
Anyways there are just some people in life who irk me to the point where I just want to slap them, but of course I don't do that. What I'm talking about is when you see a muslim girl dressed in the tightest pair of jeans she owns and the most revealing tanktop she can buy. Her face is completely caked in make up and she walks around flicking her hair right and left and right and left until the person watching just gets completley dizzy and feels like throwing up. And of course this scene is never completed unless she has some boy drooling over her. And I swear if you tell me that this boy is in love with her because of her kindness and what's inside her heart, then please hit that red X on the top right (or the red circle on the rop left for mac-users) and go away. We all know what this boy is fooled by.Then she has the nerve to call herself muslim. My question: What is her connection to islam? What makes her a muslim and not a christian or jew or hindu or buddhist or atheist? And please don't say she believes in Allah, cuz CLEARLY CLEARLY that is not the case. No, but what's funnier is her going home 3 hours later, saying that she was in the Library doing homework. Really now?! OOOH no what's REALLY funnier is her praying after 5 minutes, standing in front of Allah asking for forgiveness, when the next day and the day after and after she's gonna keep doing the same thing. She's gonna go out and party and dance and drink. Ya RIGHT! Your prayers are really gonna get answered. I mean how many of you has seen something like that? For me, I've seen too many for my own liking. I mean, dating absolutley DISGUSTS me, it makes me throw up. Sure, there was a stage in my life where I wanted to rebel, but I never got even close to dating.*shudder*
Anyways, quick post, please leave your comments and thoughts and it's okay to disagree with me, as long as you're polite about it, coz this is MY blog. :)
Hope you all are in the best of health and iman. May Allah bless you.

Even more pictures!

Pretty trees mom planted a year ago or something. :)

lol, look carefully and you'll see the shovel beside me too lol.

i couldn't help it! I looked at the smooth, sparkling ground of snow and I jumped in. I know I know I have no will power... *sigh* lol

Shovel shovel the sidewalkkkkkk *sing to the tune of erm Jingle Bells*

Hahha I was dumb enough to leave my flipflops and flats outside the day before and now they're completely filled with snow lol.

Hahah my footsteps deep in the snow....

Snow snow snow.....

Ok so, another live update wit LOTS of pictures lol. It snowed snowed snowed today and last night and it's just amazing Subhan Allah. Beautiful! I love snow and how it makes the whole world so white and clean. :) Oh and btw we're off from school

WOW! i love that light on the house in the background, it makes the whole scene so cozy and pretty.

GAWGUUSSS as muneera says

Once upon a time *before it snowed* there used to be a street here, but now you can't even see it.

Front view closer up, I <3 <3 snow!

Front view! With a hill of snow, and I had to cover up the street name so you don't stalk me-no just kidding. :)

This is only the shallow end of the snow on our porch, that has a roof over it. So the snow was much much much deeper than this.

All the cars covered in snow and the walkway that was in the picture yesterday, is completely invisible from all the snow today!

I thought it snowed a lot yesterday-but today wow! We're off from school too :)

March brings snow

Yay! it started to snow last night and the snow finally accumulated! And with our funky weather, it happened to snow in March...not January, not February, but March lol. :) The pictures look really dark, like it's night time but it's morning, :) the sun just hasn't risen because it's really cloudy...ANd I had to stop taking pictures cuz it started to snow some more! If you look carefully you can see the little snowflakes on the first picture, below

The red thing faraway is a barrel of gas because there's a construction site over there and the builders need the gas to fill up their tractors and such...

Tried to capture the snow with the trees...but all i got was trees :( oh well it's still a pretty picture!

Do you see the footsteps in the snow?

Snow on the ground, covering our red brick walk way :)

Our street, with the snow- it looks like night, but it's not.. well it's pretty early in the morning.